Cleanse #3… yep.

Anyone else noticing that by week two the only weight coming off seems to be during the cleanses? I work out, I don’t cheat, cardboard discs for snacks only and yet… nothing happens until the cleanse. Since this whole cleanse thing is essentially starving while drinking expired grape cough syrup (shoutout to Astrid for nailing the flavor) I am thinking this diet might have more and more to do with the 5:2 everyday.

I am going to keep it going for another week and a fourth cleanse but then I have a long haul flight back to the states and a month long road trip so I will probably shift back to my vega one shakes as they are a)fucking delicious and b)cost a sane amount of money for meal replacements.

I wrote my “coach” about my plan and holy hell, these people are bonkers. She insisted that a)my stomach issues would “probably” dissipate after a month or so and b)that this shit is for LIFE. I told her that after a month I would be off of isagenix and she seemed appalled. Starting talking about how I needed to rearrange my grocery budget to make room for Isagenix to be a constant. Ummm… I am a TEACHER. As a single female I have NEVER spent more than $200-$250 a month on groceries (and that’s some whole foods pretentious vegan shit too) which includes ALL meals… not just breakfast and lunch.

They expect people to drop almost 5k a year on cardboard and weird strawberry sludge. No. NO. no. Just… no.

I am guessing this is why people jump on the selling bandwagon. It’s the only way they can continue to afford the shit?!

Either way, I am still down 12 lbs (because again, I lose nothing on the non-cleanse days) but I am not sure how much of that is the pills and cough syrup potions and how much is my renewed commitment to starving and working out. It’s amazing what being a maid of honor in a wedding with a dress made for you when you were thinner will do for your motivation.

Annnnyway, how’s everyone else doing? 13 days to go! 312 hours-ish. Easy!

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